Depressed Art Student
(20 Years Old)
London | Noriwch
I am feeling very alone.
I feel I get used and then thrown in the trash after they’ve had their time with me.
I truly do not feel attached to someone right now and it physical hurts so much.
I’ve never hit the bump in the road as hard as I am right now.
This is my honest feeling.
It hurts to be alive.
And I find it hard to breathe unless I’m intoxicated. Whether it be through drinking or smoking weed or sometimes even harder, this also includes sex.
I find myself these days having really odd breakdowns of which I start hyperventilating and crying, this can space between 5 minutes to sometimes lasting 2-3 hours.
Honestly I wish I had more control over my life but now it seems I have no clue what to do. And I think about ending it… More often than I should.
- I have/had piercings besides the ears.
- I want piercings besides the ears.
- I have a scar.
- I tan easily.
- I wish my hair was a different color.
- I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
- I have a tattoo
- I want a/more tattoo(s).
- I can be self-conscious about my appearance.
- I have/had braces
- I have more than two piercings
- Disney movies still make me cry sometimes.
- I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
- I’ve glued my hand to something.
- I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
- I’ve had my pants rip in public.
- I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.
- I’ve gotten stitches.
- I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.
- I’ve had my tonsils removed.
- I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
- I’ve had chicken pox.
- I’ve been to Florida.
- I’ve driven/ridden over 200 kilometres in one day.
- I’ve been on a plane.
- I’ve been to California.
- I’ve been to Asia.
- I’ve been to Africa
- I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
- I’ve been to Vanuatu or the Mystery Islands.
- I’ve been to the Caribbean.
- I’ve been to the Grand Canyon
- I’ve been to Europe.
- I’ve gotten lost in my city.
- I’ve seen a shooting star.
- I’ve wished on a shooting star.
- I’ve seen a meteor shower.
- I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
- I’ve slapped someone.
- I’ve kissed someone underwater.
- I’ve been skiing.
- I’ve been in a musical.
- I’ve auditioned for something.
- I’ve been on stage.
- I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
- I’ve pranked someone.
- I’ve ridden in a taxi.
Honesty / Crime
- I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.
- I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
- I’ve snuck out.
- I’ve lied about my whereabouts.
- I’ve cheated while playing a game.
- I’ve been in a fist fight.
- I’m afraid of dying.
- I hate funerals.
- Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
- I have attempted suicide.
- I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
- I own over 5 rap CD’s.
- I collected comic books.
- I own something from Pac Sun.
- I own something from The Gap.
- I own something I got on E-Bay.
- I thrive on compliments.
- I thrive on hate.
- I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
- I open up to others easily.
- I watch the news.
- I don’t like to kill bugs.
- I sing in the shower.
- I’m a morning person.
- I’m a sports fanatic.
- I twirl my hair.
- I love to spam friends.
- I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
- My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, blue, red, black, purple, or orange.
- I would wear pajamas to school.
- I like Martha Stewart.
- I laugh at my own jokes.
- I eat fast food weekly.
- I’m really ticklish.
- I like white chocolate.
- I bite/used to bite my nails.
- I’m good at remembering names.
- I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
- …have said I’m fat.
- …have said I’m skinny.
- …have said I’m ugly.
- …have said I’m pretty.
- …have spread rumors about me.
- …force me to eat.
- …say I eat too much.
- …say I eat too little.
- I’ve lost weight.
- I’ve gained weight.
- I’m at my thinnest.
- I’m at my biggest.
- I’ve lost weight, but gained it back.
- My weight affects my mood.
- I diet.
- I am/was a vegan/vegetarian.
- I exercise.
- I’ve fainted from exhaustion.
- I’ve been diagnosed with an eating disorder.
- I’ve planned to run away from home before.
- I’ve run away from home.
- I have a sibling less than one year old.
- I want kids in the future
- I’ve had kids.
- I’ve lost a child.
- I’m engaged.
- I’m married.
- I’m single.
- I’ve gone on a blind date.
- I have/had a friend with benefits.
- I miss someone right now.
- I have a fear of abandonment.
- I’ve gotten divorced.
- I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
- Someone has/had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.
- I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
- I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
- Someone’s told me they loved me when I didn’t love them back.
- I’m a cuddler.
- I’ve been kissed in the rain.
- I’ve hugged a stranger.
- I’ve kissed a stranger.
- I regularly drink.
- I can’t swallow pills
- I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.
- I’ve been diagnosed with depression at some point.
- I have/had anxiety problems.
- I shut others out when I’m upset.
- I don’t
havetalk to anyone to talk towhen I’m upset about something personal.
- I have taken/take anti-depressants.
- I’ve slept an entire day before.
- I’ve plotted revenge.
I met some of my favourite internet people from vidfestuk at mcmexpo this weekend just gone. And my god were they lovely!
Yes but enough men that every girl is terrified of smiling to that guy on the bus or talking with the boy in the coffee shop. Every girl has been walking late at night at one point and been afraid of who might be following her. Every girl has referred to someone as a “creep” and every girl has refused a drink from someone she doesn’t know.
Not all men.
But enough men that all women are now afraid of most men.
It’s gotten so bad that we have to be afraid of even telling you we are afraid. We can’t ask that you please stop talking to us. Because if we do we run the risk of being labeled a “stuck up bitch” and blamed for murders and rapes in which we are the victims.
So we speak to you with body language that we hope you’ll understand. We cross our legs and look out the window and wear giant headphones that are giant signs that subtly read “DON’T TALK TO ME!” But you insist on ignoring those signs because you have it in your head that our body language doesn’t mean anything. That our bodies aren’t our bodies.
Not all men.
You can start fucking saying that when all women can stop being afraid. But that’s not gonna happen if every man a women opens up to about this issue dismisses her by saying “Not all men.”
unofficial letter to the skeezball at work all men.